I'm done.
I am so pissed! And tired, so very tired. My hormones are yet again a wreck! I was having a pretty good day today, I mean I had my moments, but for the most part things were going good. We had a cook out at my brother's house, and I was having a really good time. We swam; I jumped on the trampoline like I hadn't done since I was in gymnastics, a fun time was had by all. Then something happened, and I started feeling incredibly down and depressed, and as if I could burst into tears. Then I went to the restroom to discover I was having breakthrough bleeding AGAIN... after only 1 of the new (actually old, lower dose) pills! I was angry, very ticked off! I wanted to throw my hands up and scream. I feel done, but I can't be done. I don't know what to do. I'm thinking lupron. I am calling my local gyn Monday to see if I can talk to him about my options. I really wasn't wanting to do lupron just yet, but unless I can get something else figured out, I may go ahead with it. I really don't know what to do. I know I want to feel good, and feel happy.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
side effects
Are killing me! I am done with the new bcp. I have been on it for 10 days now and have had at least 4 days were I had to take my migraine meds and crawl into bed. Today was the second one this week, the worst, and the final straw. This is not the "quality of life" my new dr spoke so highly of. I called my local gyn, practically in tears, asking what to do. I know if I simply stop I will be in even a worse situation, with a major hormone drop. So I requested switching back to the lo ovral, what I had been taking and have taken on and off for years, until we can get something else figured out.
I'm not sure what to do, I know my options rather well, but am just not sure what it is I want to do. There is the option to try the ring. Since it is vaginal, the side effects are generally less. There is depo provera, but I am not interested in that due to side effects and the effect it has on fertility after stopping it. There is also depo lupron, but I have already done 11 months of it; the FDA only recommends 6 months, so I don't know that that is the best idea. But I have to admit that part of me wants to go back on it, for a slew of reasons that I am not up for discussing at the moment. Then there is Mirena. This is a toughy for me. My new dr explained it to me and there are parts of it that sound very appealing, but I have my reservations. I don't like the idea of something in the uterus. It scars me a little, well maybe a lot. It just feels like it could be one more mark against me. Also, while I know it is not like the old copper IUD, it still can work like an IUD, and I don't like the thought of that. We worked so hard to have Cooper, and while I am looking for birth control as well as endo control now, if I conceive (meaning egg meeting sperm) I want to get pregnant. I remember feeling slightly sad (repeat slightly, just a little sting, which is why my family had to hear, "I really wanted twins") that I only got pregnant with 1 baby, because I couldn't help but think that there were 3 eggs that ovulated and wondering if they all fertilized, but just didn't implant. This is highly unlikely, but I still wondered about it, and that hurts a little. I am afraid with the Mirena, that I would always wonder how it worked. I would wonder if it worked because I didn't ovulate, or because my CM was too thick, or if it hadn't worked at all, but rather the fertilized egg couldn't implant. Wow, writing this out makes it pretty clear I am not ready to go this route. Not now at least, maybe never. I really don't know what I will do, but I will think about it, research some, talk to my drs, and make a decision.
Oh, and the vesicare, that is nasty stuff. Lets just say I need to up my fiber intake.
I'm not sure what to do, I know my options rather well, but am just not sure what it is I want to do. There is the option to try the ring. Since it is vaginal, the side effects are generally less. There is depo provera, but I am not interested in that due to side effects and the effect it has on fertility after stopping it. There is also depo lupron, but I have already done 11 months of it; the FDA only recommends 6 months, so I don't know that that is the best idea. But I have to admit that part of me wants to go back on it, for a slew of reasons that I am not up for discussing at the moment. Then there is Mirena. This is a toughy for me. My new dr explained it to me and there are parts of it that sound very appealing, but I have my reservations. I don't like the idea of something in the uterus. It scars me a little, well maybe a lot. It just feels like it could be one more mark against me. Also, while I know it is not like the old copper IUD, it still can work like an IUD, and I don't like the thought of that. We worked so hard to have Cooper, and while I am looking for birth control as well as endo control now, if I conceive (meaning egg meeting sperm) I want to get pregnant. I remember feeling slightly sad (repeat slightly, just a little sting, which is why my family had to hear, "I really wanted twins") that I only got pregnant with 1 baby, because I couldn't help but think that there were 3 eggs that ovulated and wondering if they all fertilized, but just didn't implant. This is highly unlikely, but I still wondered about it, and that hurts a little. I am afraid with the Mirena, that I would always wonder how it worked. I would wonder if it worked because I didn't ovulate, or because my CM was too thick, or if it hadn't worked at all, but rather the fertilized egg couldn't implant. Wow, writing this out makes it pretty clear I am not ready to go this route. Not now at least, maybe never. I really don't know what I will do, but I will think about it, research some, talk to my drs, and make a decision.
Oh, and the vesicare, that is nasty stuff. Lets just say I need to up my fiber intake.
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